This. You rock, Justine. And I still want to meet you someday!

Wait, I *didn't* cause the BP gusher? What a relief! Now I can go shopping. :)

You might have noticed -- sweetie -- that I used words like "intention" and "shouldn't have to say this" and put the word 'hurt' in quotes (you know, like air quotes). Interpret that as you will.





Edited at 2010-06-25 07:22 am (UTC)

I think I might have misread your initial comment.

Yeah, I was aware of the hands across the sand event & wanted to take my kids to it.

And you're right. Solutions are the way to go.

I agree with you 100 percent. sweetie.

wishing you love & peace.

Oh...and watch this and you will understand why my peeps speak the way we do. This county is in my birth state, Fauqier and we are being made fun of on national t.v.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKK61T8RrWY

This is my southern life. Lord. It is funny.

Liz Goings daughter of Rick and I have never been married - look it up. Him not me. I's stayin' behind the lines in dis world. but, I feel your pain. :) And, you can always call me sweetie - especially if we spar. And, we will but in a good way. "wink"

Take your children to Virginia when you have a chance. It is beautiful. There is nothing like a morning in the Blue Ridge mountains driving from Charlottesville. Lord my 5 brothers cannot get enough of it and they are all under the age of 21. And, I, their sister, am older than you. Ya'll can go to the Stoke Stomp. Jazz on the lawn of a very, very old home.

The air, so crisp. And, clean. You will love it, sweetie. Just love it.

Talulah is lovely, and I believe she really cares for him.

1) I never claimed that many men are misogynists (although yeah, some men actually are, so deal with it). I said I was tired of the "misogynistic bullshit" (ie: comments like "I hope you get raped in the parking lot" and references to my "vile vagina" and other attempts to degrade me sexually). difference.

2) Sure, you can dislike me. But calling a stranger "cunt" and telling her you "hate" her -- based on nothing more than a cursory view of a blog and your own kneejerk assumptions about a situation you know very little about -- would qualify as a misogynistic act, yeah. Sorry.

3) Someone might think you have better things to do with your time.

Edited at 2010-06-30 12:01 am (UTC)

The "C" word? And in print? Lord have mercy. Name-calling gets us all nowhere.

Sincerely, Southern missas who uses the word "sweetie:

Sweetie Justine, on behalf of that person and that person's family and I don't even know them, humanity apologizes. Clearly, someone is having a bad time and it taking it out on this blog. I hope that person finds some peace.

I object strongly to the language employed in this post, specifically the deeply offensive and punishingly coarse misuse of the word 'preclude.' The English language deserves an apology from the overreaching moron who committed this flagrant and unnecessary cacology. I would advise him to stick with his cherished four-letter words such as 'cunt' and the like, which are clearly more expressive of his charming insights, and to leave the more challenging words culled from SAT-study guides to the adults.

You know, I was actually wondering about that. Thanks very much for that comment.

Duly noted. :)

This was my comment I decided I did not want to be anonymous :p I actually signed up for an LJ account dunno that I will use it but maybe I will blog about my experiences with my divorce/custody situation.

I wanted to expand on this statement I made:

I just hope you and your ex bear in mind that the children are the most important thing surpassing money and its trappings.

It took me a good 6 months to come to terms personally with what this means. I live in Las Vegas and have my own business doing computer consulting for small and medium sized businesses. I make a living not a whole lot more but the potential is there to dramatically grow my business locally. (it has been depressed for several years not just due to the economy but personal reasons as well) I have a life here friends and clients etc. however my ex needs to move to LA (she got accepted to a graduate program with full funding to get her Phd) custody wise this is going to suck big time for either one or the other of us. Driving 8 hours round trip to get him for visitation will get outrageously expensive fast. Also what about when he gets into after school activities, little league etc. it would not be fair to take him on the weekends at that point and getting a hotel would be prohibitive. So I decided I was going to move to California as well I am giving up my life in Las Vegas because I believe long term it will be better for my son, myself and my ex-wife relationship wise. I think it will destroy me financially, hell I would not be surprised if I end up living on ramen and broth for awhile. But he will have both of his parents and his life will be as stable as we can make it. Sure I could look at your situation and say the money makes it easier and I am sure it does to some degree but the emotional soul searching and realization that the love and life of the child is more important than personal success for me was the key and a very hard pill to swallow.

I never claimed that Tesla was my "passion", I said I was "emotionally invested" in it. Of course I am.

Look. When you go into mediation, a judge hears both sides of the case and then sets a number that he thinks is a reasonable and fair settlement given all the circumstances involved. You then adjust the numbers to come out with that. If a man is cash-poor, for example, he can substitute stock for cash. But he might not agree to do that.

I don't want to "hurt" Elon -- I've had two years to work through the emotional issues that attend the end of any marriage. I want to resolve this and get on with my life (and since he's getting married this fall, I would assume he wants the same). I would like to sit down at a negotiating table and respectfully figure out a deal that satisfies both of us (and we actually weren't all that far off). But Elon made it very clear that that was not going to happen -- it was his deal or no deal -- so we're stuck in this increasingly ugly predicament until the courts decide one way or the other.

And keep in mind that what I was actually asking for -- which was meant as the starting point for negotiations, not the end point -- actually represents a small (!) portion of Elon's total assets. He's going to be fine. And so am I. It's not like anybody should be crying for either one of us (not that I think anybody is).




Edited at 2010-07-09 01:23 am (UTC)

Elon did not offer me 4 times that amount (are you kidding? I would have been beyond thrilled. I would have taken that on the spot.)

If Elon offered me a one-time cash payment of ten million (plus the house), I would have taken that on the spot.

What he offered me (the "thirty million" or so in support/alimony) was to be spread over twenty-five years or so with no adjustment for inflation and no security should he lose everything (which, given our five kids and his high-risk, high-stakes, high-flying personality, is something I need to take into account even if I don't believe it will actually happen). The real issue was what I would receive upfront (not much, relatively speaking, including the house). If Elon had truly negotiated with me, instead of dictating the terms and threatening to lower the amount and generally trying to bully me into accepting (which meant on that principle alone I could not agree to it), we could, I believe, have worked this out.

Yes, the numbers are obscene. Yes, this divorce is obnoxious.

And like I would pay 15k for a purse. Don't be an ass. This isn't Real Housewives of Whatever.


Edited at 2010-07-09 05:25 am (UTC)

I am aware of his Huffpo post. :)

There's a hardball negotiating tactic -- and Elon is very much a hardball negotiator -- that involves spinning or puffing up the offer to make it seem better than it actually is. Elon is nobody's victim, especially mine (or any woman's).

The law requires the primary breadwinner to "maintain living standards" for the sake of the kids, so that they're not induced into preferring one parent over the other but have roughly similar lifestyles at both residences.

Divorce is hell, no matter what kind of money is involved. I suggest you avoid it if you can. :)

And prenups make a lot of sense. Just make sure that both parties have lawyers and that you make a full and thorough financial disclosure. Then it's rock solid.







Edited at 2010-07-09 06:57 am (UTC)

I hope so too, and I plan on doing my part. :)

Do I regret marrying Elon? Absolutely not. We were soulmates for a long time. We're very different (obviously) but we were also both eccentric and iconoclastic in ways that made us well-suited to each other. I can't imagine having married (and then divorced) anyone else. I was lucky to have that.

hmmm. interesting that someone who would leave such an inaccurate and maliciously intentioned comment would say that I am the one who needs to do "soul work".

blogging, by the way, is a crucial part of something called "building an author platform", necessary in my line of work (and yes, I do know what work is :)

Edited at 2010-07-09 09:03 pm (UTC)