There's a story in the New York Post saying that Elon and I settled for a "post-nup pay-out" of $750,000. I have no idea where they got this number but it's not true. Elon and I came to terms a while ago because an ending seemed the sensible thing (the appeals court agreed to hear the case, but at some point the madness must stop, and this could have gone on for years). I received the house, which I'm in the process of selling, two million cash minus the legal fees that I was responsible for, alimony and child support for 17 years (about $80,000** a month), no stock, and a Tesla Roadster which I still need to go down to the store and order. This deal is about ten or so million dollars less (mostly in terms of alimony) than what Elon had offered to me before the trial. I am happy and moving on (... and into a cozier house). Elon and I seem to be at the cautious beginnings of a new kind of relationship. Knock wood.
I am blogging this to head off the inaccuracies and misperceptions that, I've learned, would otherwise be reported in one form or another (the corrections of which were the reason I started blogging about the divorce process in the first place). The $750,000 thing completely boondoggled me. Also, an interview I did last fall for a then-untitled documentary about the business*** side of high-profile divorces (...what can I say? it seemed a good idea at the time...) is airing tonight.
* I thought about calling this post 'Golddigger 2', but since that title got me in trouble the first time, and irony doesn't always carry well...
** To quote from a reply I made to someone in the comments section below, because doubtless she's not the only one to think this and so I might as well address it here:
Yes, big wealth, big numbers. I understand why people would resent that...Although to put it in a certain kind of perspective -- Charlie Sheen is reportedly paying $55,000/month child support for two kids. So leaving out the question of alimony entirely, which the sum does contain, $80,000 for five kids is not such a bad deal *in this particular context* of a billionaire father.
The fact that $80,000 is more than most people make in a year is a) very true and b) not relevant to what my own ex-husband should or should not pay in child support, according to *his* responsibilities and capabilities which is to maintain a roughly equal standard of living at both households (and if it makes you feel any better my standard of living will *not* include the private jet and massive mansion that my ex enjoys)....for the benefit of the kids. Not the wife. The kids, which is why child support eventually comes to an end.
*** It's been interesting to muse on the whole golddigger thing, how swiftly women are demonized in this culture, regarded as vile and beneath contempt, and how quickly people link female sexuality to commerce and morality (as evidenced by the many comments left on certain posts in this blog). It's been interesting to reflect on this entire experience in general, which lasted two and a half years (and went public last June). It's been interesting to think about the things about marriage that no one ever tells you, much less prepares you for, and how damaging the fairy tale idea of love-as-rescue truly is, how it seeps into our brains and can fuck us up when we're not careful. It's been interesting to think about how money turns into a symbol for so many other things, and how men and women relate to it differently. It's been interesting to ponder the ancient double standards and hypocrisies that shoot through the heart of our culture. No one is coming to save us, and that is as it should be. We are the ones we've been waiting for. And on that note, peace out.
I am blogging this to head off the inaccuracies and misperceptions that, I've learned, would otherwise be reported in one form or another (the corrections of which were the reason I started blogging about the divorce process in the first place). The $750,000 thing completely boondoggled me. Also, an interview I did last fall for a then-untitled documentary about the business*** side of high-profile divorces (...what can I say? it seemed a good idea at the time...) is airing tonight.
* I thought about calling this post 'Golddigger 2', but since that title got me in trouble the first time, and irony doesn't always carry well...
** To quote from a reply I made to someone in the comments section below, because doubtless she's not the only one to think this and so I might as well address it here:
Yes, big wealth, big numbers. I understand why people would resent that...Although to put it in a certain kind of perspective -- Charlie Sheen is reportedly paying $55,000/month child support for two kids. So leaving out the question of alimony entirely, which the sum does contain, $80,000 for five kids is not such a bad deal *in this particular context* of a billionaire father.
The fact that $80,000 is more than most people make in a year is a) very true and b) not relevant to what my own ex-husband should or should not pay in child support, according to *his* responsibilities and capabilities which is to maintain a roughly equal standard of living at both households (and if it makes you feel any better my standard of living will *not* include the private jet and massive mansion that my ex enjoys)....for the benefit of the kids. Not the wife. The kids, which is why child support eventually comes to an end.
*** It's been interesting to muse on the whole golddigger thing, how swiftly women are demonized in this culture, regarded as vile and beneath contempt, and how quickly people link female sexuality to commerce and morality (as evidenced by the many comments left on certain posts in this blog). It's been interesting to reflect on this entire experience in general, which lasted two and a half years (and went public last June). It's been interesting to think about the things about marriage that no one ever tells you, much less prepares you for, and how damaging the fairy tale idea of love-as-rescue truly is, how it seeps into our brains and can fuck us up when we're not careful. It's been interesting to think about how money turns into a symbol for so many other things, and how men and women relate to it differently. It's been interesting to ponder the ancient double standards and hypocrisies that shoot through the heart of our culture. No one is coming to save us, and that is as it should be. We are the ones we've been waiting for. And on that note, peace out.

Comments
Reply 1:
Oh please.
Have a nice life. I hope your bitterness doesn't eat you alive. (Actually, I don't really care.)
First Edit:
Oh please. Can we say 'misogynist'? Please do the woman involved a favor and don't get married. Ever.
Have a nice life. I hope your bitterness doesn't eat you alive. (Actually, I don't really care.)
2nd Edit:
Honestly, what do idiots like you hope to gain by leaving such vitriolic notes on my blog and calling me -- oh no! wait for it! -- a golddigger, or greedy whore, or whatever? It says a hell of a lot more about you than it does about me.
Please do women a favor and don't get married. Ever.
3rd Edit:
Honestly, what do idiots like you hope to gain by leaving such vitriolic notes on my blog and calling me -- oh no! wait for it! -- a golddigger, or greedy whore, or saying that you hope I get raped in the parking lot, or whatever? It says a hell of a lot more about you than it does about me.
Please do women a favor and don't get married. Ever.
Reply 2)
And by the way? I wasn't attached to the money, and I'm totally fine without it.
I asked for it out of general principle.
I deserved every bit of it
and what my ex did with the post-nup was wrong. The fact that he won because of a technicality -- because he knew how to manipulate the legal system and use mediation confidentiality (and my general cluelessness) to his advantage -- doesn't change that.
:)
You should take a look in the mirror... you would be suprised by what you see.
You sound a lot like my ex-husband. It's kind of amazing.
(And I am editing this now to say I retract that statement about my ex-husband. That kind of insult -- to him -- wasn't called for.)
Edited at 2011-04-03 07:11 pm (UTC)