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For those who want to know the extent of my golddigging, this is what I asked for, from my ex-husband and the father of my five children Elon Musk, who is a billionaire* and utterly brilliant.

The house
alimony and child support
6 million cash
10 percent of his stock in Tesla
5 percent of his stock in SpaceX
(and he retains all voting rights)
and a Tesla Roadster (I really, really want one...)

Is that what I deserve? I don't know. Who exactly deserves that kind of wealth? But based on our life and history together, is that reasonable? I think so. And I want to do good things with it (and bring my parents down from Canada so that they can live near their grandchildren).

People ask me why he won't settle. I can't answer that (or rather, I could try, but I won't).

At any rate, I shall now turn my attention to other things.

* albeit with cash/liquidity issues, which I would work with him to work around
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( 157 comments — Leave a comment )
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May. 8th, 2010 03:58 pm (UTC)
I think you're being more than reasonable.
May. 22nd, 2010 03:56 am (UTC)
Lazy Bum
Sigh! Have you considered making something of your life on your own instead of lusting after his money?

If you guys don't like each other, just get the hell out of each other's lives. You are being totally whiny and unreasonable. Whatever money Elon has, he has earned it through his own hard work. Yes, a woman's support can sometimes be critical but, clearly that doesn't seem to be the case anymore.
Re: Lazy Bum - moschus - May. 22nd, 2010 04:07 am (UTC) - Expand
May. 8th, 2010 04:40 pm (UTC)
Sigh. Though at a different scope and scale, there were still substantial assets in play in calendula_witch's recent divorce. His attitude was that he'd made all the money with his education and hard work, and she should just do the decent thing and walk away. As I told her, if they settled for a dollar, he'd mourn the dollar more than he'd mourn her.

I'm sorry.
Jul. 4th, 2010 04:32 am (UTC)
your are right
if they settled for a dollar, he'd mourn the dollar more than he'd mourn her.
May. 8th, 2010 04:53 pm (UTC)
You've been very generous-minded through all this.

I would think a man of his standing would want to be fair to the mother of his children, but I guess it's become all about points and winning.

I'm sorry you're going through this, too.
May. 8th, 2010 05:17 pm (UTC)
You're being much more than reasonable, Justine. And despite whatever he feels for you, the kids should be a bigger consideration for him than they seem to be. In his place, with his resources, I'd give the mother of my children much, much more. And he owes you, at the VERY least, more respect than this.

Hang in there. Love you. Eggs Benedict should be in our future. ;)
May. 8th, 2010 05:28 pm (UTC)
Why are the richest, most powerful people so often miserly in spirit?
Justine, considering all the wealth and resources Elon has at his fingertips, and considering all you two have been to each other, from joy to the most profound heartache anyone could suffer, it seems to me that you deserve even more than what you're already quite rightly asking for. Feh, the bum should be reduced to spending the rest of his heartless, selfish life in dire poverty and homelessness, without even a friend to put him up on an uncomfortable old couch! Wish I had the resources to do more than root for you, Justine, but for what it's worth, all of us here at Team Bartilucci are in your corner and hoping and praying that everything works out for you and your kids!
May. 8th, 2010 05:46 pm (UTC)
Re: Why are the richest, most powerful people so often miserly in spirit?
By the way, Justine, this post came from me, Dorian! For some reason, LiveJournal didn't recognize my username. Go figure! :-)
May. 8th, 2010 05:45 pm (UTC)
I too think that you're being MORE than reasonable. You're taking care of his children.

Powerful men are funny. They like to "win". And for it to prove their "superiority". If they "win big" then it proves who they are. It's that ego that allows them to be so successful but is dysfunctional in other settings. That's my view from being thoughtfully married to a powerful and narcissistic husband. Trumps rationality, care for the kids, and all other less urgent concerns.
May. 8th, 2010 05:49 pm (UTC)
Above Anonymous Comment from Me (Olivia)
Sorry I left an anonymous comment unintentionally; I hate that!
May. 8th, 2010 06:14 pm (UTC)
it's not a bad request. You do have five kids to support. I wish he could see it that way.
May. 8th, 2010 06:45 pm (UTC)
Well I for one think you're being completely unrealistic.
Not everyone can have a Tesla Roadster.

Agree with the above comments. If this has gone a year and will go another year, he'll have to approach that $6M in legal fees and lost time. And in this case the negative advertising IS negative and could cause him all kinds of problems from what I understand. It's just cutting of his nose to spike his face.

Of course now I'm dying to know what he offered and has come down on 5% a day on since. That one really cracked me up. As someone who negotiates complicated deals every day, I can tell you that to say you're going to do that and actually do it are two different things. Can you say patriarchal?

Here's hoping RD Jr did NOT base his latest performance off that of E!
May. 8th, 2010 06:53 pm (UTC)
Seems completely reasonable. You are showing gobs and gobs of (undue) respect, and more than a little class.

My situation is far more mundane, and on a far smaller scale, but when I told my ex that he would, in fact, HAVE to pay child support, because the state of Iowa requires that the partner with the higher income pay child support, and not because I'm a horrible human being, he replied, "Well, I could always pay you the child support and then you could give it back to me. The court wouldn't know." I looked at him like he was crazy, and he continued to look at me like I was a horrible human being.

Forget the ubiquitous "woman scorned" - Hell hath no fury like a man who can't get his way in every detail...
May. 8th, 2010 07:33 pm (UTC)
He didn't give you a Roadster already? Dude! Just goes to show that you can be really rich and have absolutely no class.

I'm not an Elon-hater but I swear, for such as supposedly bright guy, he sure makes some dumb moves at times.

Best of luck,


May. 8th, 2010 10:53 pm (UTC)
6 million??? That is chump change to him! 6 million does not cover the mental abuse he has caused upon you. How can one put a price on that? Only an a**hole that cares about ONE thing... his money! When someone defines themselves by their money ( because they are so insecure and has been able to buy friendship and adoration) that is the only thing they hold dear in life. It is like an alcoholic... You become in a relationship with alcohol and everything else is like a mistress. His money and work is his wife everything and everyone else is a mistress.

He is probably paying off the judge and lawyers so they side with him. Don't you think he'd just want to settle so him and his fiance can get married? Why is she not pressing him to just settle so they can live happily ever after? Oh, because he is a narcissist that lacks empathy and can't imagine the fact of losing control of you.

Question- what the hell is wrong with his current fiance for thinking he is a good guy? Does she not follow this? What about her parents?
May. 8th, 2010 11:00 pm (UTC)
How do you calcuate fairness?
Thanks for bringing transparency to what's normally a behind-closed-doors process. Fascinating.

Is your contribution to that wealth creation one factor in determining fair numbers?

When you say 10% of Tesla, is that simply trying to arrive at a total number or based on some other formula driven by your contribution to building the company (even if thru emotional support)?

Or is the only way you calculate "fair" what you think you will need to support your family and desired lifestyle?

-- Ben Casnocha (officially anon because don't have an LJ account!)
May. 8th, 2010 11:21 pm (UTC)
Re: How do you calcuate fairness?
NOT ten percent of Tesla. Ten percent of his stock in Tesla.

In this case, the percentage was fitted into a total package deemed "fair" based on various recommendations, the particular context of us and circumstances involved. In other words, it doesn't have to be stock necessarily. You could take away stock and put in more cash. Or vice versa.

This is life and marriage, Ben, and although there are formulas involved it can't be cut and dried so easily. The court puts greater emphasis on the responsibility the more powerful partner owes toward the less powerful partner; Silicon Valley, in contrast, is very concerned about what that less powerful partner has "earned". I think you can arrive at a place between the two -- you just need a point where one person's idea of 'fair' overlaps with the other person's idea of 'fair' and that hasn't happened with us.
Re: How do you calcuate fairness? - ext_237552 - Jun. 22nd, 2010 07:51 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: How do you calcuate fairness? - moschus - Jun. 22nd, 2010 08:05 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: How do you calcuate fairness? - ext_237552 - Jun. 22nd, 2010 01:19 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: How do you calcuate fairness? - (Anonymous) - Jun. 23rd, 2010 08:25 pm (UTC) - Expand
May. 9th, 2010 03:34 am (UTC)
Tesla and SpaceX
I agree with everything on the list except the stakes in Tesla and SpaceX. If I were him my shares in these companies would be worth a lot more to me than money. What is reasonable to me is asking for more cash but no stake of Tesla or SpaceX.

And you do deserve the Roadster. :)

May. 9th, 2010 04:27 am (UTC)
Re: Tesla and SpaceX
He agrees with you, except he thinks I should ask for much *less* cash (and no shares whatsoever).
Re: Tesla and SpaceX - (Anonymous) - Jul. 4th, 2010 04:37 am (UTC) - Expand
May. 9th, 2010 11:23 am (UTC)
what you're asking for sounds completely reasonable, considering how much he actually is worth. The money, properly managed, will easily see you through the rest of your life (along with your own book royalties, though I'm sure they are dwarfed by his money). The child support will allow HIS children to be taken care of in the manner in which they have become accustomed, and the stock allows you some security.

He really needs to look at this as an investment. It's money he won't even miss.

I'm sorry he's being so stubborn. I know this stuff takes a toll on everyone involved. My sister (though we're talking about much less money) goes through this crap with her ex over my nephew's...everything. In that case she's got the money and it's an argument over where he'll go to school (she's paying for a private school he doesn't like) or just anything, because he's a total control freak. It's never about his child, but about him being in control.

Good luck, try to take some time and relax :)
May. 18th, 2010 05:03 am (UTC)
...perhaps we can vacation together in the British Virgin Islands and just get drunk and not think about all the complications...Dude can come along, I don't care
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( 157 comments — Leave a comment )

About Me

I'm the author of three published novels: the dark fantasies BLOODANGEL and LORD OF BONES (Roc/Penguin) and the YA supernatural thriller UNINVITED (MTV/Simon&Schuster). I also have stories in the MAMMOTH BOOK OF VAMPIRE ROMANCE 2 and ZOMBIES: ENCOUNTERS WITH THE HUNGRY DEAD. I'm working on a psychological thriller called THE DECADENTS. I am divorced, with sons, and live in Bel Air.

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