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stronger for the broken places

When someone treats you badly -- over years -- it leaves you raw and wounded inside.  When you've made repeated overtures of peace to that person only to have your head bitten off -- or to be ignored -- sooner or later you have to come to the realization that this person doesn't care about you and probably never really did (and the signs were there from the beginning, if you had known to pay attention and interpret them correctly.)  If you once loved this person, and possibly in some corner of yourself still love this person, you need to find your own sense of closure, because there will never -- ever -- be an apology, or any recognition of the damage done.

I let go. I am so done.

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( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 21st, 2011 01:33 am (UTC)
Jun. 21st, 2011 01:41 am (UTC)
Amen! I needed to read that. Thanks for writing it.
Jun. 21st, 2011 02:38 am (UTC)
Good for you. You are the better person, the whole person, the free one. He may never figure out why he is so miserable, but it's not your problem anymore.
Jun. 21st, 2011 11:40 am (UTC)
probably never really did

Don't do that to yourself. You can let go without it. I think really it's only us creative types who have a vested interest in love that lingers -- because in order to be able to write about love, we have to be able to taste it.

I'm sure the person did care. But people change.

Having your head bitten off means there's still some emotion there because love and hate are the same absolute values, just on different ends of the scale of emotions. But ignoring you -- the true opposite of love is indifference.

On another note entirely -- what did you think of this?


Edited at 2011-06-21 11:47 am (UTC)
Jun. 23rd, 2011 07:47 am (UTC)
So true.
Jul. 2nd, 2011 08:00 am (UTC)
You (and the rest of us non-sociopaths) deserve good things and kind people.

I'm glad you've stuck a fork in it, so to speak.
Jul. 21st, 2011 03:38 am (UTC)
saw your story on cnbc
i just saw a 'divorce wars' special on cnbc yesterday and that's how i first heard about you and your ex husband. i just read a few of your blogs and i enjoy your honest writing, thank you. i don't write, but i have 3 kids and i am having similar problems of my own so i can sort of relate (not the billionaire ex part tho)! just wanted to wish you well, and i know this is irrelevant, but i think you are much more beautiful than your ex's new actress wife. i have never heard of or seen her before, even tho i watch a lot of movies. younger is not better. i wish you well!
Aug. 17th, 2011 01:45 am (UTC)
i follow your blog whenever i can, & originally came to it like a moth to a flame because of some link now forgotten that illustrated your undying spirit - something i'd had once, but lacked at that point - and wanted to regain. your words help so much - seeing you rise above the pain reminds me that it can be done, and that i must do it, too, because if i do not then not only did i lose a husband, i lost what made me real, and he is not worth that.

godspeed, justine. thank you.
Jun. 8th, 2016 06:29 am (UTC)
Have you been perfect yourself?
But have you treated that person wonderfully? Have you not been competitive and unsupportive yourself? Have you been a woman enough? Or behaved just like another man in relationship? Is there any of your fault, or its only his fault? Have you come to that union unwounded and became wounded, or have you been wounded before, and expected that man to fix it? Sorry, I don't mean to be rough, but somehow its always assumed that relationship fall apart only because man have done something wrong. But woman have power to start and hold relationship. Truly a lot depends on women in a family. I suggest you also ask yourself have you been perfect yourself?

Edited at 2016-06-08 06:30 am (UTC)
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )

About Me

I'm the author of three published novels: the dark fantasies BLOODANGEL and LORD OF BONES (Roc/Penguin) and the YA supernatural thriller UNINVITED (MTV/Simon&Schuster). I also have stories in the MAMMOTH BOOK OF VAMPIRE ROMANCE 2 and ZOMBIES: ENCOUNTERS WITH THE HUNGRY DEAD. I'm working on a psychological thriller called THE DECADENTS. I am divorced, with sons, and live in Bel Air.

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